


Broken But Still Good

by Radioactive_Ducky



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Creepy Dolls, Fluff, Insecure Morality | Patton Sanders, Light Angst, M/M, he loves and supports everything his boyfriend does, i'm totally not projecting my love of weird & creepy dolls on to patton, like a good boyfriend should
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 08:30:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17280617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radioactive_Ducky/pseuds/Radioactive_Ducky
Summary: Patton has a secret and is afraid Virgil will see him differently if he tells him.





	Broken But Still Good

**Author's Note:**

> Done as a secret Santa for gothelixar on tumblr! Go check out their art work they are awesome!

He hadn’t meant for it to be a secrete it’s just there was never an opportunity to bring it up in passing conversation so Patton just didn’t say anything. Although, out of all the sides he had been worried about telling Virgil the most about his…hobby. It was very unusual and maybe a little bit creepy, especially for someone like Patton who was so happy, peppy, and rainbows. Virgil and the others saw him in a certain way and he didn’t want their opinions to change just because he had a weird fascination with creepy dolls.

Movies like Chuckie and Annabel didn’t really scare him so much as make him think that, maybe, if the dolls had been loved a little more, they wouldn’t be so mean. Not that he went out of his way to look for haunted dolls but dolls that were broken, torn, or a little worse for wear always had a sort of soft spot in his heart. Sometimes Thomas would go to thrift stores and flea markets with his friends and see a few ruined dolls just dying for a home. Subconsciously, he’d go over and observe them for a bit before casually moving on to something else. But on the inside, the memory of the doll still lingered and Patton was able to manifest it into his reality and add it to his collection. He’d clean them up a bit, make them some decent clothes to wear but he’d never fix their chipped paint or broken arms or balding head. Flaws were part of who we are and Patton though everyone’s flaws, be it physical or internal, were amazing and beautiful. Especially his dolls.

He had been fine to keep his weird little hobby to himself, it wasn’t something important that needed to be discussed with others. Just a fun little side project that Patton like to do in his spare time. But then he and Virgil started dating and Virgil was so nice and understanding and kind of sort of reminded him of his dolls in the sense that he needed a little more love and care and acceptance of his flaws. But Virgil was a very anxious boy who was kind of intimidated by major changes and to Patton this was kind of a big deal. It was a part of himself that nobody knew and that was just so different from what he usually sticks to.

So, he didn’t tell Virgil or the others for a long, long while. Until one day they had a Talk™, Not that they were having major problems it’s just that there were issues that needed to be addressed. Like Patton’s need to bottle up his feelings just to appease others and Virgil’s self-doubt in everything he does, especially in their relationship. It was a very difficult Talk™ but it was also a very good Talk™ that was necessary in moving forward with their relationship. It was also the necessary step forward that Patton needed to finally reveal his secret….to Virgil. Baby steps, first he’ll see how Virgil reacts and if it’s good he’ll show the others but if it’s bad…he’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

“So, what’s this big surprise you wanted to show me?” Virgil asked timidly as Patton lead him up the stairs by the hand.

“Uh, it’s not that big,” Patton assured nervously “just a little surprise, no big deal or anything.”

Virgil arched an eyebrow in suspicion, it was unusual for Patton to be nervous unless he did something wrong, like eat dessert before breakfast. But this was different, much more jittery less guilty, more…anxious.

“You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to.” Virgil soothed, pressing up close to his boyfriend as they walked down the hall towards Patton’s room.

“No, no, it’s nothing bad per-say,” Patton quickly said.

“I didn’t think it was bad,” Virgil said calmly, rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of Patton’s hand “it’s just you seem really nervous and if it’s uncomfortable for you, you don’t have to show me now. Or ever if you want to. I just want you to feel safe.”

Patton paused in front of his door, looking straight into Virgil’s eyes with a sort of fiery determination, “No, this is something important to me and…I want to share it with the people I love the most. It’s just…I’m scared that you may see me differently or think I’m weird.”

“Hey,” Virgil said gently, cupping Patton’s cheek “if any one knows a thing or two about being weird it’s me. So, I have no right to judge especially since you’ve been so open minded about my weird quirks.”

Patton sighed a breath of semi-relief, a little calmer now, “Okay, okay.”

“Can I at least have a hint?” Virgil smirked playfully.

“Well, let’s just say it’ll be a doll-ightful surprise.” Patton winked as he opened his room.

Virgil gave him a confused look, even more lost then before but still followed Patton in. The room was the same as always, pictures covering every inch of the room from photos to paintings, boxes and boxes of mementos, and tons of stuffed animals piled high on the bed. It was organized chaos, as Virgil called it, because even if it seemed messy you could always find what you were looking for. More cluttered then anything else.

At first Virgil thought the thing Patton was going to show him was in the room, maybe a quirky new stuffed animal he bought. But then Patton started leading him to the back of the room and then Virgil thought maybe he had a risqué new outfit. Something a bit outside of the “gender norm” that he was a bit too nervous to wear. But instead of leading him to the closet Patton lead them behind a wall of boxes that took them even further back into the room.

Virgil knew that their rooms in the mindscape were infinite but it still surprised him whenever he entered one of the other’s rooms that wasn’t Roman. Roman was creativity and NEEDED the space to create worlds and ideas to help Thomas in his job while the others didn’t really need something so grand. So, most times they tended to stay towards the front of the room, very rarely venturing any further back unless it was necessary. What ever this secret was, was buried deep in Thomas is subconscious, meaning Patton really didn’t want anyone to find out about it.

Finally, they reached a small door that reminded Virgil of the cupboard door from Harry Potter except it was covered in happy stickers and seemed to blend into the background. Virgil hadn’t noticed it until Patton had them stopped in front of it and nervously fiddle with the ends of his shirt.

“You sure about this?” Virgil asked once more “I won’t be upset if you ducked out now.”

“Quack,” Patton chuckled nervously before clearing his throat “but, uh, no, it’s fine. I really do want to share this part me with you Virgil.”

“What ever you want.” Virgil said sincerely.

With a deep breath Patton placed a hand on the door nob but didn’t turn it, instead he said, “Please don’t think I’m a freak.”

“Never gunna happen babe.” Virgil smiled, giving his boyfriend’s hand a squeeze.

Another deep breath, the door swung open and…wall to wall in a large square room lined with shelves sat broken, chipped, and torn dolls. Baby dolls, porcelain dolls, rag dolls, and more were lovingly cleaned and dressed in cozy little sweaters, t-shirts and ribbons. It was surprising to say the least.

“Sooo,” Patton said after a pregnant pause “I collect dolls and obviously not the normal kind. And I know you said you wouldn’t think it was creepy but I knew it was a bit of a farfetched idea so I totally understand if you do think it’s creepy because obviously any normal person would be creeped out by…” He gestures wildly around the room “This! But it’s just whenever I see one, I just think they look so sad and in need of a good home where someone can love them. So, I clean them up and fix them to a degree where they won’t fall apart anymore but I just think they have so much more personality with scars and chipped edges. So, I leave them like that and give them a home with others that they can get along with and understand how they feel and I know they’re inanimate objects that aren’t alive but to me they are! And I know it’s weird and creepy and-”

“I don’t think it’s weird.” Virgil cuts in, the understanding and sincerity in his voice caused the tension in Patton’s shoulders to disappear.

Patton tilted his head to the side in confusion, “You…what?”

Virgil shrugged, “I mean, the dolls are kind of creepy yeah and it wasn’t something I would expect of you but I don’t think you or your hobby are creepy. It’s actually…kind of fitting.”

“How so?” Patton asked curiously.

“Well,” Virgil stepped forward taking both of Patton’s hands in his own “these dolls are broken, sad little things that everyone else in the world thinks belongs in the trash. To them they’re useless and broken and can’t every be loved but you…you see them for them. You see their scars and you adore them because of it, because they’re different.” Virgil looked up at his boyfriend with such admiration and love in his eyes that Patton’s breath caught in his throat. “I love you Patton and I love the fact that you love these dolls despite their outward appearance and have given them a home where they will continue to receive that love forever.”

Patton laughed, tears pricking the edges of his eyes as he leaped forward to engulf Virgil and a giant bear hug. Virgil chuckled in turn as he hugged him back before pulling back and kissing Patton’s forehead.

“So, you’re really okay with this?” Patton asked bashfully.

“So long as you’re happy and it isn’t hurting you or anyone around you, I’m all for it.” Virgil smiled.

“Good, because I would have thought it be a bit of a _chip_ on your shoulder.” Patton winked.

Virgil snorted, “Nah, I thought it was doll-ightfully appealing.”

They laughed and the room seemed much lighter despite the dozens of creepy broken dolls surrounding them. But even then, they didn’t seem all that creepy, maybe Patton was right and all they really needed was a little love and care. Or maybe it was the effect Patton had on him to make everything he does adorable and innocent. Either way the dolls were starting to grow on Virgil.

“So, mind introducing me to everyone?” Virgil asked shyly.

Patton beamed one of his famous light up a room smiles before once again dragging Virgil around to meet all his doll friends. Because of course each one had a name and a personality and something that was just so endearingly Patton.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment and kudos!


End file.
